The Neuroscience of Self-Talk: Your Inner Voice Can Work for You by Lorne Epstein

Ever wonder who that inner voice in your head really is?

I have.

For years I would find myself thinking about the voice in my head. It doesn’t feel like me because sometimes we uh, talk. I would ask, “Who’s in there?” Who are the we? I had never been taught about the voice in my head that talks to the other voice in my head. A second voice. I decided to uncover this mystery and learn the neuroscience of this phenomenon, which is what I am sharing with you here.

Why it Matters

For leaders, professionals, and everyone making daily decisions, the voice in the head can mean the difference between clarity and confusion. The question isn’t whether you have an inner voice, it’s whether you know how to train it to serve you.

What Is the Inner Voice?

Every human carries a silent companion: the inner voice. Neuroscientists call it inner speech, the internal dialogue that shapes how we reflect, plan, and regulate behavior. Lev Vygotsky first theorized that this voice grows out of childhood speech, eventually becoming a tool for self-control and thought (Vygotsky, 1934/1986).

Brain scans confirm that inner speech is real, not imaginary. It lights up many of the same regions used in speaking aloud, like Broca’s area and the auditory cortex (Morin & Michaud, 2007). In fact, when people reflect, remembering the past, analyzing feelings, or even daydreaming, the brain’s language centers get activated. We often talk to ourselves in our heads as a way of being self-aware.

Why It Matters

Developing self-awareness is a performance tool and not naval gazing. Psychologist Alain Morin (2011) identified five functions it serves: regulating behavior, guiding decisions, taking others’ perspectives, driving self-improvement, and deepening social connection. In plain terms, it helps us manage ourselves, plan, grow, and build stronger relationships.

Neuroscience also shows the brain’s default mode network (DMN) is active during rest and self-reflection and plays a central role in this process. When the DMN turns on, our inner thoughts help us make sense of experiences, imagine the future, and align our actions with long-term goals (Andrews-Hanna, Smallwood, & Spreng, 2014).

The Inner Voice as Mirror and Compass

The inner voice holds wisdom when treated as a partner, not a dictator. Think of it as both mirror and compass.

• Mirror: Inner speech reflects our beliefs, assumptions, and biases. Neuroscience shows it supports metacognition which is our ability to think about our thinking and builds the flexibility to catch flawed reasoning and unconscious bias (Morin, 2011). This reflective power is what allows us to grow and strengthen connections with others.

  
  

• Compass: Third-person self-talk, using your own name instead of “I”, creates psychological distance that calms stress and sharpens focus (Kross et al., 2014). Saying “You’ve got this, Lorne” isn’t silly, it’s neuroscience. This simple shift helps regulate emotions and boost performance under pressure, from public speaking to high-stakes decision-making.

Train Your Inner Voice

The inner voice is a tool you can refine. Here are five evidence-based ways:

1. Cultivate Awareness – Mindfulness strengthens areas of your brain that support attention, emotional regulation, and self-awareness. Over time mindfulness gives you focus and balance, giving you more control over stress and clearer decision-making. By noticing your internal dialogue without judgment, you reduce rumination and builds self-control. (Tang, Hölzel, & Posner, 2015).

   
   

2. Practice Reframing – Deliberately shifting how you interpret experiences strengthens the brain’s control over emotional responses, improving resilience under stress (Ochsner & Gross, 2005).

   
   

3. Create Space for Dialogue – Journaling or asking yourself in the third person, “What should Lorne (your name, if you use my name, this will not work) do?”, often brings more clarity than first-person self-talk (Kross et al., 2014).

   
   

4. Anchor It in Values – Decisions tied to personal values activate brain regions linked to meaning and motivation, aligning choices with long-term goals (Kelley et al., 2002).

   
   

5. Use It for Decision-Making – Under pressure, engaging your inner voice activates prefrontal networks that support risk evaluation, delayed gratification, and ethical reasoning (Bechara, Damasio, & Damasio, 2000).

Make friends with your inner voice. Ask your inner voice questions as though it is wiser and more intuitive than your voice.